130. Maintaining Momentum with Discernment with Vicki Main and Prina Shah

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello and welcome to this episode of Ways to Change the Workplace with myself Prino Char. I love what I do. I'm a global leadership coach, a consultant, a trainer, a keynote speaker, a podcaster. I help you to develop your leaders, your teams, and I help you to optimize your organizational cultures. I'm here to help you find ways to change your workplace. Why? Because we spend more time in our waking day at work than we do with our loved ones. It has to be a good place to be. So in this podcast, you can expect a mix of interviews with amazing thought leaders and then some solo episodes from myself as well. Maintaining momentum with discernment is what today is all about. You're gonna love this episode, and you're really gonna love Vicky as well. Now, Vicky has known me for years, she's known me since my mid-20s. I'm in my mid-40s now. And Vicky knew me. We first came across each other in a job that I was in where I really wasn't myself, I really was not thriving. And at that time, I was studying a degree in contemporary art and I was a practicing artist as well. So, for those of you who don't know, yes, I got fed up with the world of HR back in the day, and I thought, what the F am I doing with my life? So I worked part-time and I studied damn hard for four years. I studied part-time as well, a degree in contemporary art. I was a glassblower's assistant, and then I fell in love with all things printmaking and mixed media, and I've exhibited as a contemporary artist all over Western Australia. I've won a number of awards as well. So Vicky refers often to me as artist Prina. So I just wanted to give you a caveat of that. I was once an artist as well. If you want to check out some of my artwork, uh Prina Sha Artist on Instagram is who I am, and it's seriously out of date. If you want to get in touch with me and keep in touch with my latest whereabouts and fun things behind the scenes, then Prina.sha on Instagram is who I am. And as always, connect with myself and connect with the gorgeous Vicky on LinkedIn. All of our details are in the show notes. So over to Vicki now. Maintaining momentum with discernment. Let's do this. Hello and welcome to this very important episode of the Ways to Change Your Workplace podcast with myself, Prina Shah. And I'm really happy to be introducing you today to my friend who I've known for years, Vicky. Her name is Ms. Vicki Main. Vicki is in the UK at the moment. Vicki, how are you?

SPEAKER_01 3:06

I'm very well, thank you. And thank you for inviting me onto your show today. I'm very excited.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

My absolute pleasure. Vicki, I want to do a personal intro to you because I was working in a job long, long ago uh that I wasn't enjoying so much. So I shan't name the organization. But in came this energetic woman, this powerhouse I felt like, and just positive, like just good vibes, Vicky, is all I uh all I can say about you. She walked in. I thought, who is she? I need to get to know her. And Vicky, at that time, you were working on all things innovation years ago. And I have seen Vicky, I've had the pleasure and the privilege of seeing Vicky do some amazing things. So, Vicky, I'm gonna do a professional intro to you now, if I may.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Thank you very much. It's very kind, and I'm happy to share my insights as well of how we met. And it was again, you've got this creative essence around you, and I'm so delighted to be here today. And yeah, I'm excited, but feel free to carry on.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Let's be official. So here's Vicky Main. Vicky is the director, she's an international speaker, an author. So her book is called The Momentum Mindset, and I'm gonna be talking about this. So, people on YouTube, here is the book. You must check it out. Vicky, I'm gonna put your books, details, your book, your details, everything in the show notes. But Vicki is an author, she has her own podcast called Get Unstuck Fast Viscosity Podcast. What a name. Um Vicky's also uh qualified, accredited in the entrepreneurial mindset profile. She's a master trainer and an executive coach, and she she works globally. Vicky, you're all over the place. So Vicky is an award-winning lecturer, a director of her organization called VLM Coaching and Training. And Vicky does so much. So Vicky has supported over 3,000 entrepreneurs in Australia and coached several hundreds of people to achieve impactful results. Vicky is all about service. That's one thing I've noticed about her through the years that I've known her. With over 20 years of experience that Vicky has from her corporate educational training and leadership roles in the UK and Australia, Vicky has an in-depth and a wide breadth of expertise in helping small business owners and organizations to grow their businesses effectively. Okay, Vicky is the host of her own podcast, and I'm going to be on there in a few months. I can't wait to talk about my stuff on Vicky's channel. And Vicky essentially helps people to become unstuck and to create massive action. So today I really want to talk to Vicky about her book called The Momentum Mindset. And Vicki, I don't know, we can title this. This is what I'm thinking. Titling it maintaining a momentum mindset with enhanced discernment. So this is another Vicky came to Perth a couple of weeks ago. We had the best catch-up in the sun. And Vicki and I, I think, spoke for two, three hours. It was we spoke for ages, you know. Like I could spend even longer with Vicky. And when we were talking, we were talking about our own lives and maintaining momentum as you know, business women, as women, just with life and everything else happening. And Vicky mentioned a big word to me, discernment. And that word is so important to me as well. And that's one word that has been repeatedly coming over and over into my head. So, who is the best person to talk about? Maintaining momentum mindset with enhanced discernment, Ms. Vicky Main. Welcome.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Thank you. Wow, that's a really um exceptional introduction. And I feel very um honored to be on the show. Um, I think one of the things you mentioned there was about being of service, and that is absolutely at the core of what I do. Everything in my life, in terms of my career, has been about service from my teaching background to working with clients in Australia and now globally. And funny, interesting fact, I have also been a DJ. Um so in Perth, I did that, and um, I love music, I'm very passionate about music, and and same people have fun and enjoy themselves, and you know, we're on this earth for a very short period of time, so it's about making an impact and leaving a legacy and helping others. So I'm very much of service to others, but also I think what I love is seeing people their light shine and helping them unlock their gifts and their creativity and helping them stay curious. So, in terms of discernment, this this has been something that I've been thinking about for a while and observing leaders in teams and seeing how teams interact with each other. And it's funny you say about how when you were in a role that you weren't necessarily enjoying as much, and I saw that, I observed that from you, and it really made me sad inside to see that you, such a creative individual, were not fulfilling your own potential by being shackled in a position that you just weren't happy in, and it was obvious you weren't living your your passions, and and that, and I'm sure I know we've talked about this, and you also had, I think at the time, some side hustles going on around creativity, around your artwork, because I know you're an exceptional artist as well, which you may not you may not have shared on your podcast, but you are an exceptional artist and very creative, and I just wanted to see you shine in, and it was so lovely to see that you then freed yourself to go and do all this great work working with other people, and that's a wonderful thing, and inspiring teams. So, yeah, discernment for me is a really important subject, and I'm happy to have a lot of discussion about it.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Yeah, so I use discernment to get out of the situation that I was in. Now, yeah, let's say people don't know what discernment means, Vicky.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

In your in your opinion, what's discernment in your well, it comes from the Latin word discern and it means separate. So, what this means is it's about separating what's important and what's true from what's not. Now, when it comes to sustaining momentum in whatever you're doing, and I'll talk more about the book's content as well, but really that this is about you having the discernment or a leader having discernment to be able to sit back and go, right, what is the truth in this situation? What is the facts here? And what is it that and it's about making the right decisions and not necessarily making them at a fast pace. It depends on the situation, but this whole sustaining momentum is really about looking at how you can picture your goal and what that looks like, or in a team or with a group of leading a group of people. And it's about looking at that goal, but also having the discernment to make the decisions that are going to help people along the way and in and really achieve that goal. And sometimes those decisions, like if you think back in your listeners might think back in their own lives and think, oh, that there was a decision I made that wasn't necessarily the right one, but I made it too quickly, or I made it based on other people's perceptions, and I wasn't living my truth, and it's really important, and I've got loads of tips about how to have better discernment, but I think these are going to come up in the questions a little while later.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

We will get there. Yeah, oh my gosh, there's so much here. So, okay, you said discernment is it comes here, the root of the word is separate, and it's important to separate um the truth from what's not true as well. So truths and untruths, um, and about making the right decisions for oneself. Uh, for me, it's kind of like a filter, a prioritization. Before that, exactly what you're saying, to know what the truth is and what untruths are as well. We need to know ourselves, Vicky, don't we? So we need to know our values, we need to know what direction we're going so we can guide ourselves essentially as well. And thinking about the situation that you just talked about, you know, my work situation, you clearly read the signs correctly. I wasn't shining, and Vicky saw that. So I had in my head that I wanted to be like Vicky, I wanted to be that entrepreneur, you know. It was in my head, and here I am. It takes time, but I think we need a goal to go towards as well, don't we, Vicky, in that respect, when we are doing all things work on ourselves in terms of discern discernment. So, do you have anything else to add in relation to that? Into in relation to tapping into ourselves, you know, the big know thyself question, which is huge.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think you touched upon that around absolutely being able to look at your core values and your beliefs as well and knowing what's what's being true to yourself. I think one of the things for me, when I I when I am disconnected from myself, as in like I meditate most days, and I've and I've not always been this meditator and you know doing that. And I think being in Perth in Australia, living there for 10 years, I became a lot more conscious and aware of um and and and very much interested in more personal development. So I spent a long time working on myself, spent thousands on courses and and personal development. But I think the key is knowing yourself, but also going within and sitting and being silent and around just really having that inner knowing and that intuition and tapping into yourself because the thing is, and the secret is we all have the answers within us around any question. And I mean, one of the things I I ask myself is what would the smartest person in the world do in the situation I'm in right now? And that question has sat with me for years, but I really believe that it's about going within. And if if there's somebody listening on the call who is maybe feeling a little bit overwhelmed at the moment, maybe a bit stuck, whatever it is, and they're they're challenged with a situation and a decision. Go within, get out of nature, go within, um, go on nature, go and do something. Um, like for example, I was at the gym yesterday, yeah, or Saturday rather, and I was sitting there doing um, because I love weights and I look, I just feel amazing when I could when I go to the gym. And I was sitting there and I was doing some leg exercises, and I came up with a really good idea. And I sat there and I got my phone and I made some notes, but I disconnected myself from work, as in my office and went out and just changed the environment. So absolutely, this is something that, but it's going within, it's connecting with yourself. And so many of us are disconnected from ourselves. And as to be a true leader, you've got to be connected to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Yes. One of my mentors said something really hard to me, but it was so true. He said, Prina, get out of your own way. And we can often stumble ourselves up, can't we? If we're too focused on the here and now, and we don't take that helicopter perspective or that balcony view perspective, exactly what you're talking about. Um, I love that you ask, what would the smartest person in the world do? Uh-oh, Vicky, it's meant to be. I have a similar question. Uh, what would a wise woman do? So I always tap into my wise woman when I'm really unsure about something. So, yeah, similar there as well, you know. And that aspect of just stepping out of ourselves and our little egos and whatever funk is happening within our head, just to have that calm time as well and to regroup. And then things come, you know.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Do you know what's really interesting? You talk about ego, and I was listening to yesterday the audio book by Dr. Wayne Dwyer about it, it was called the power of um, what was it called? The power of I should even know uh intention, power of intention. And the talk you talk about ego, about the whole point of it being that it's about it when you're in your ego, you're in a state of where you think about you are what you have, you are what you do, and you are what others think of you. And that separates you from everybody else. And it was such an interesting concept and listen to that again and a gentle reminder that actually when you tap into your power of intuition, yeah, and you tap into your power of intention and let go of the ego, it's amazing what happens next. Like the magic that can happen. And um, nice. Uh maybe I needed to share that today. Maybe someone on the call might want to listen to that book and and remind themselves of just how great they are.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

That's beautiful, because we we we can create our own little illusion, our our own little prison for ourselves as well. Yeah, I am this job title, I am this salary, I am blah blah really.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Absolutely, but you know what? We can create this prison in our mind, but we are the actually the only people who can unlock it as well. Boom. True. And that's why I'm talking with you.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Yes, exactly so, exactly so. Beautiful answer there as well. So, bringing discernment to the workplace, Vicky. In your opinion, why is discernment essential for leaders and teams striving to maintain progress over time?

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Yeah, it's a really great, great question because obviously, in an organization, they have their vision, their mission, their goals. Yes, and it's about doing the right thing, but also for leaders, it's about taking a step back and really having that strategic thinking time to go and write, okay, what is it that needs to be done here? What what's the right thing to do? And I think as well, I talk about the there's various people talk about business ethics is an oxymoron, and you know, is there ethics in business? And to be a true leader, discernment is so important to be able to do the right thing. But I think also it's about the notion of the react reacting and responding. So when we react to something, it can be like a quick emotional impulse to a response and or a stimuli, and people react quickly. And discernment gives you the opportunity to instead of reacting, respond and really look at doing respond in a planned and thoughtful way that gives the best outcome for the leader, but also the team as well around them and the organization.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Oh my god, Vicki. Now you're talking to corporate prena. So back in the day, back in the day, I used to have this is a post-it note, YouTube people. I used to have a post-it note on my uh laptop or on my work computer with this as a symbol, which is a pause sign. Vicky, that was my sign, not to react, but to absolutely have a considered response. So, Vicky, you're talking here too so much as well from a psychological perspective. We're talking to the amygdala hijack when emotions take over and we go to fight, fly or freeze. But what you're talking to is that pause just stops everything. We check in on ourselves and our little ego and whatever's being told in our head by ourselves to ourselves, and then we come back with a considered response. So we're using discernment here in a really practical way, and this could be done in seconds, can't it? That's how I used to do it, just with a post-it note.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah, absolutely. And one of the other things which I guess my teacher, yeah, as in teaching has taught me is a key question is walk in their shoes. So, regard if you're a leader working in a team, not everybody is going to have the discernment to be able to take a delayed approach to responding. So it's but it's about going right, okay, walking in their shoes. What has happened? Are they okay? Is things going on okay in their maybe their personal lives that are making them react in a certain way? And it's having being able to have a different perspective. And I mean, I talk a lot about I'm a conflict conflict dynamic profile practitioner. So I'm I'm actually, and my next book's around conflict, funny enough. Um, so I talk a lot about the about the the the notion of constructive responses to conflict, and whereby one of them is around perspective taking, taking two different perspectives, and the other one is around delay responding. And these this has come from academic research within Eckert College, which who I work with. And so one of the things that I do do is look at their look at someone's scores in terms of how they will react constructively to conflict, but also destructively as well, and what their hot buttons and triggers are. So I'm fascinated by this research. And in terms of conflict in the workplace, you can't avoid it. And in some ways, it's a good thing to have conflict in the workplace because there's so many positives as well. However, there there are there are better ways we can choose to show up and have more constructive ways to deal with conflict as opposed to destructive ways, which can really trigger us. And then, you know, the next day you go, Oh, I wish I hadn't done that, and you have these regrets. Well, discernment gives you the opportunity to not necessarily have those regrets because you give yourself the space to think and then respond in a way that you feel better about in the future.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Beautiful. So again, now we're going back to knowing thyself yet again. So, in a workplace, you know, I I this is I have a bit of a bugbear with this, Vicky. I don't know what your thoughts are. So, organizations will spend so much money on a disk assessment or a print profile or an LSI or whatever assessment, right? These assessments are amazing because they tell you about you, right? In your current workplace. So, what these what these assessments essentially do is they tell you about your shadow areas or your triggers or whatever. I'm talking especially from the conflict armor scenes, thinking to your um points there. Once we know what our triggers are within the workplace context, we know ourselves more. And then we can use discernment more so to say, oh no, Prina, you're just responding like this because this is one of your triggers. Chill the hell out and press that pause button, go for a walk, do something, have a cold water, whatever, and then come back with a considered response after using some discernment. So again. This is so much about knowing ourselves, isn't it? And how we can be better and serve others. You're all about service, as you said.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Absolutely. I quite you I quite agree for sure. And this is why the importance of connecting with yourself around things like meditation, being having gratitude, practicing gratitude. Uh, it's it's the if you look at the most successful entrepreneurs in the world and you look at how they live their lives, and you look at patterns of behaviors, and you see it, it's not rocket science. These people practice these things on a daily basis, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

And it's a muscle that we need to practice, right? Absolutely, because we can lose it as well. Um, I'm I'm gonna flip it now, Vicky.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

What are some common challenges that people face when trying to sustain momentum and discernment in their professional pursuits in your well, uh, first of all, I'm gonna just talk briefly about the book, um, the mental mindset. I'm gonna and then I'll give you some of the common challenges because it relates to it. So, the book that I that I wrote, I actually wrote this with Jonathan Bean, and um, so Jonathan's an exceptional writer, and he came on board about 20,000 words in of the book's journey. And the book was written from pretty much my experience of working, teaching, and working with with coaching clients, and I could see patterns of behavior, and really I've I've designed a framework around how you can build momentum to be able to create massive action in your life and also overcome inertia or whatever is whatever you're stuck in, but it also relates to business as well. Now, interestingly, as I've done more research around discernment, it's it they they both are linked because the Momentum Mindset book talks heavily about creating action and it's very much around it takes you through a process and it looks in at identifying, you've got to look at yourself first, knowing yourself, and then it takes you through a process around like recognizing your superpowers, looking at ways, things that you want to change. So I'm I've I've made it into a sort of a process map, if you like, and then putting some place to change your direction or whatever that looks like, change your situation, and then build momentum and create massive action. So the book is not just about me pontificating about life around mindset, it's about actually creating massive action in your life. And segue into some common challenges that people find with sustaining momentum. Well, I can give you a few. Um, things like lack of discipline. Discipline is the one thing. Sometimes it might be seen as unsexy or boring to some who like the big shiny things and who like variety in their life. But that in order to have sustained momentum, discipline is key. And I'm speaking about, you know, someone who does, I like big, shiny things, and I like having fun, like doing variety. But also when I look at times in my life where I've actually really achieved something, like for example, a marathon, I ran a marathon years ago now. Um, discipline was the key thing. Writing a book, discipline was the key thing, and everything I've had in my life that I've been very proud of, it's around discipline, a lot of things. Um distractions, I think, is another thing when you can be distracted. Um, also lack of desire. If you don't desire the goal, if the goal's not big enough for you, or it's not as it's it's it's it doesn't really relate to your why. And you don't really have like if it's a goal that you think, oh, it's nice, it's a nice to have, but it's not really something that you want to achieve, then then that's that's also a reason why it might challenge people. Um, is it their goal? Is it actually their goal or is it someone else's goal? Yeah, um, other things like sometimes there can be anxiety around doing the right thing in terms of if if something isn't necessarily aligned with your values, or you you there might be things that just aren't aligned, or there might be something where you're not sure of, or that there might be some anxiety around that, and maybe putting other people's needs first. So it could be around if you've got a really high interpersonal sensitivity for others, you might put other people's viewpoints before and and um needs before your own. And there might be some anxiety around doing the right thing for yourself as opposed to doing something for others. So, so lots of reasons why people can be challenged to have momentum, definitely in their personal or private life. But what I would say is a tip here, and I talk about this in the book, is that if there is something in your life that you want to have momentum in, yeah, look at look historically at the things you're most proud of and look at the patterns and the the gold nuggets of look at those patterns and see what you did along the way to make that thing reality. And you will see there will be patterns of behaviors, and I guarantee discipline will be in there of how you've actually achieved that goal. Guarantee.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Super practical. So look at patterns of pride, things that you've been proud of historically, because guaranteed you've achieved so much in life already. Oh my gosh, Vicky, you talked about this massive thing. So um, misalignment of values, uh, the thing that I'm trying to do doesn't align 100% with my values. Now, Vicky, this is uh a coaching conversation I've had many a time with many a leader, and no doubt you have too. So when I speak with leaders, especially from this perspective, you've either got to get on that bus or get off it. You're in the wrong place if you're really not feeling it. And that is a tough conversation to have. And you know, I've had that conversation with myself. Vicky knew how unhappy I was initially in one job. So I think we need to stop bullshitting ourselves as well, often Vicky.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Yeah, I agree. I think the the the challenges though, the thing which does hold people back is often fear, fear of the unknown, fear of uncertainty, and fear of of doing the right thing. And and I guess, but also we're a long time dead. You know, if there's something you want to do in life, don't feel you know, feel the fear and do it anyway. It's cliche, but it's true. Go and do it. Don't hold yourself back from being the best version of you and doing the most amazing things that you can in the world. Because I guarantee the people out there who've gone and done it and been that, I don't know, they've they've been an exceptional singer and they've put themselves out there on stage and then they've now got, you know, Grammy Awards and all those things for the stuff that they've done, or whatever the example may be, they've they've battled that fear, they've fought it and thought, you know what, I'm doing it anyway, regardless of what people think, because they are so in tune with themselves and they are very clear on their goal of what they want to achieve.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Beautiful. And then that way we can deal with the setbacks, we can talk, we can deal with you know those negative voices from others as well that really often put us off. So, for example, when I was gonna quit corporate, it was during the pandemic, Vicky. So I was working part-time in corporate land and I had my own business as well. And I told lots of people, my my close people, uh, my closest people, first off, that I'm gonna quit, I'm gonna quit corporate. Woo! The the flood of advice, unsolicited advice that came through to me. You can't quit during the pandemic, you're gonna be unsafe, you don't have a good brand, and all of these negative voices and negative sayings came into my head, Vicky, from others, and my job was to discern. And I had that strong belief in myself and my values that no, I am doing good, and I will continue on with this. So it's that self-belief that's so important, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Good for you, and you had the strength of character to do that. However, some people who put their words and ideas out there, yeah, they may decide to listen to those people. But what I would say in your example, where you had people who were often giving unsolicited advice, but maybe they cared for you and they wanted the best for you, or maybe but it's then projecting their fears onto you. The challenge, um the challenge with that is if you listen to that unsolicited advice, it can hold you back from really, really living your best life. And what I would say is there's a really famous quote by Brene Brown, and it's about unless you've been in the arena, don't you know, unless you've been in the arena getting your ass kicked, don't then put that onto other people. So I would say, if, for example, um you are or someone on the call who or someone who's listening wants to publish a book, get advice from someone who's actually done it. Don't listen to someone who hasn't done it, who's sitting there with ideas of grandeur about thinking about, oh, I'm gonna publish this book, I'm an exceptional writer, but they never do it. Listen to the people who've actually done it and walked that path and walked that journey. Those are the people who are going to champion you and they'll tell you what's and all the differences and the expectations of what to expect. Yeah, but don't let people put you off. And often the people who put you off are the people who maybe just aren't brave enough to do it themselves.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

That's it. And now we're going back to discernment full circle with the first thing that you said. We need to separate the truths from the untrudes. So we need the truth from the people who've already done it, and the untruths are just potential best intention, best intended people, but they come from a place of fear or projection or whatever, but they've not moved in those shoes. Oh, Vicky, yes, yes, yes. Um this is really practical. Okay. Um, what strategies or practices can individuals adopt to cultivate better discernment in decision making? You've shared a few, but is there anything else you can do?

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely. So I would say definitely it's basic things like looking at the pros and cons. If you want to write down a list of the pros and cons, um, also being kind, coming from a place of being kind to yourself. Let's face it, there's a lot of hoax and doves out there, uh, hoax and doves and or drains and radiators out there, if you like that analogy. Um, you know, coming from a place of kindness, I think kindness is a really great thing to come from, place of kindness and humility as well. Um, but also thinking about right, what will the impact of that decision be in three months, one year, three years from now, what will that be? And also taking steps to make the make the better decisions and putting that into action. I think also there's there's a few things and a few other things. I'm just going to share these with you, if I may. Um, this may be segue into a different question here, but around identifying those clear milestones, what is it going to look like? Um, looking at really looking at the consistent routines and having the discipline there, um, visualizing the success, what does success look like for you? I think that's a really important one, but staying adaptable and staying curious and flexible to decisions that may take you down a different route. Um, I think also things like being able to cultivate that intrinsic motivation whereby you you really get clear on the goals and you really stick behind your decision. Like in some ways, if you make a decision, you stick by it and you you go with it. Yes, you can change your mind later down the road, but be decisive. Make the decision, take action. You know, be decisive. And that's the one thing. And that that has helped me, you know, if I if I thought about it and well, if I'd sort of ponder if I'd procrastinated on this with the book, if I wasn't decisive, I would never have written this book. And do you know what? I actually looked at getting a publishing deal for the book, and I spent probably three months writing to publishers, etc. etc. And you know what they came back with me with? You're not a celebrity, so therefore, a book in this genre won't sell in the UK. And I said, you know what? I'm doing it anyway. So I published the book myself. I set up my own publishing, um sort of publishing sideline to my business, published it, helping other people publish their books and helping them inspire them because there's a lot of academ, not academic snobbery, there's a lot of snobbery around um, you know, oh well, if you self-publish, well, you know, isn't it better to publish with a professional um publisher? Well, actually, what I'd say to that is if you look historically at some of the best writers in the world now, or some that in their early career, they started with like Stephen King, for example, he self-published, E. L. James, she shall self-published. Um JK Rowland, I think, well, I think she had many rejections, but like Wayne Dyer, they self-published. So if I'd sat and listened to those publishers saying, Oh, well, I'm not a celebrity enough, I would not have sold over 300 copies and counting with my book and not helped and inspire people to be able to create momentum in their lives. If I was gonna sit on this, this would not come to fruition. Let me tell you, when I unboxed this book, it was just such a beautiful moment where I sat and thought, I did it, I did it, and I'm gonna help others to create action in their lives.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Oh, it's so beautiful. You said a lot again. Now I want to come back to a couple of things because I've got some other examples as well. Visualizing your success. Ooh, ooh, ooh, this is the best thing. Now, people can do vision boards and all of that kind of stuff. And I've got something for you and for our audience. I don't know if anybody he's has seen the documentary on Netflix about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have you seen that one?

SPEAKER_01 35:40

I have, and it's brilliant. Really, it's been a while since I've watched it, but he is like a huge manifester in terms of what he's achieved in his life. And um, yeah, he's a very inspiring man.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

So let's talk to that then. Manifesting can sound woo-woo to many. Uh, so I won't use the manifesting word, I'll use visualizing. So let's use Arnold as an example here. He came from an alcoholic family, his dad beat them, it was pretty horrible. His upbringing, his brother really didn't do well in life, but Arnold had something different in him. He knew he was gonna get out of Austria. Step number one. He visualized getting the hell out of there and getting into America. That was step number one, and then there he was in America looking at all these muscle men. I'm gonna be a muscle man, you know, and I'm gonna be the world's best, and he did it. And then he thought, oh, that now I've done this. I want to go into movies and I'm gonna be the best. Hello, Terminator, and everything else that he's done. He did it, and then he thought, the world isn't quite right. I want to make my impact on it, I want to get into polit uh politics. He's a friggin' politician now. Oh my gosh. If anyone hasn't seen the documentary, watch that. That tells you all about discernment in so many different aspects as well, doesn't it, Vicky? That documentary just blew my mind, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

So so for me, I've spent many years doing you know, boards, um, vision boards. I've got, I've actually got a book somewhere. I've reflected over the weekend and I've got a book. Oh, yeah, here it is. I've got a um a book around, I bought this book list book. So I've just I've just written in here at the weekend, true. Um, I'm up to 61 booklet list items over the next five years that I want to achieve. And actually, majority of these are um travel goals because I love traveling, I think, so much, and I love immersing myself in different cultures and and foods, and so that's there. But um, but I I also saw daily before I came on the call this morning, I have done my meditation, I've done my gratitude, I've walked my dog, I've I've actually said positive things to myself in my mind, and you know, because if we can't treat ourselves well, how do we expect anybody else to treat treat us well? And some of the things like I I've actually got it in front of me. I made a list of things here. I'll just of um my daily mantras to myself. So one of them, I know I'm on a bit of a health kick at the moment. So one of them is I'll read this out, I'm happy to share this. I'm divine health, I attempt to act in healthy ways and build my immune system. So, what this means is it's about me putting discipline in place for my health goals and also eating better, making healthier choices. Because if your internal world is better, your external world, you project you, you if if you're happy inside and you're healthy inside, and that will that will create more positive experiences externally. And and this is what people like Arnold Schwarzenegger knew, you know, they they love he loved he loved being at the gym and he'd been working out and he'll have he'd done all those things and said positive things to himself. If he kept saying negative things to himself, do you think he would have become one of the world's best um weightlifters or heavy lifters or whatever the term is? Absolutely not. He was so kind to himself and was positive, and that positivity breeds positivity. Oh, a hundred percent. When I'm at my best, when I'm at my best working with my clients, and when I'm at my best, I'm working out most days and I'm being as positive and I'm eating really well.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Yeah, like healthy. So, what g goes into you and what comes out if you is really important? So, so while you were talking, there's this poem. I have to read it to you. So it's a poem by Lao Tzu, who's written uh the Tao Ju Ching. If you haven't read it, please, you must watch your thoughts, they become your words. What's your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. What's your character, it becomes your destiny. Like boom, isn't that enough?

SPEAKER_01 39:58

Absolutely, and that that speaks that speaks volumes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

You also said something really important, and I think it's really important to go back to when we are working on discernment, we can't hold on too much to that end goal because we might have exciting things come up that might just take us here, there, or back to the UK, like you went, Vicky. And you know, you've just got this whole beautiful new life now, and watching your journey is just been so yeah, so beautiful to see from my side, and you haven't held on to this rigid idea of no, I should do this or I should be this. You you've gone with the flow, but you still have had your your compass, your inner compass guiding you. So when I was working on all things, and you know, I'm still I'm a work in progress forever until the day I die. We all are, we all are right, there was this one line from another poem. So poems really do it for me, Vicky. Uh, there's a poem by Roger Kipling called If. If you haven't read it, please do. But there was one line and it really positively slapped me around the face because I'm a planner, Vicky. I love to have a plan, but sometimes I used to be too rigid. I reckon in my 20s I was way too rigid. So the line from the poem If says, if you can dream and not make dreams your master, if you can think and not make thoughts your aim, then you will go far in life. You know, it's like, ah, yes. So all of that completely speaks.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Yeah, it's a beautiful poem, and I think it it really speaks volumes, and I think it also highlights the the notion that we need to keep evolving and have continuous learning and development because it and I'm a big audio and podcast, I like to listen to a lot, and I tend not to watch TV now as much. Um, I will watch the odd Netflix film at, you know, I will, but I I don't watch TV because I choose what positivity I want to put into my brain. And I found myself if I watch the news a lot, it makes me really sad. And I know it's good to be abreast with um, you know, keep up keep up to date with um, you know, uh economical and financial, you know, things that happen in the world and stuff, but there's a certain level of what you put into your mind, and it's about you know bringing that positivity in and reading poems and quotes like that is is a really positive thing as well, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

Absolutely. Oh yeah, Vicky, and another way I relate to you. So I actually switched off the TV from the mains probably around 15 years ago now. So I haven't watched TV TV properly. The way I get my news is through the BBC email daily. Um and if stuff's gonna happen in the world, Vicky, we're gonna know about it. You're not gonna miss out on anything, really, you know.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

So I I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Vicky, I could speak to you forever and I could ask you a million more questions, but I've got one very important final question to ask you. Ms. Vicky Main, all the way from the UK where you're at at the moment. If I was to hand you a magic wand, what is one way that you would change the way of the workplace?

SPEAKER_01 43:02

The way of the workplace. One way that's a pr that's a um, yeah, that's a pretty big question. I think I the how would I change the way of the workplace? I would I if I had the if I well the magic ones there, I think I would wipe away people's egos if they if I could, um maybe through training development, um, get them to come from a place of non-ego and actually look at how they can be foster a better culture around working as a team to create the best outcomes and move forward with their vision. But I think what I've often found working in organizations and working in um in companies is that when people come from a place of ego and they don't have the discernment as much, they they tend to make decisions based on their own um what's best for them.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

And sadly, sadly, we are as humans, we are a collective where community should be so important. Yes, and we are all connected. You can't you can't put yourself in a situation where we are just in isolation and work in silos. So I guess the magic one would be eradicating those silos and the the coming from a place of ego and doing the right thing as a team. And I think that for me would be one of the top things, and also I'll I'll I'm gonna be passionate about this as well. Is there is a disparity between um what women get paid and what men get paid. And I think you know, just making an equal pay, that's a basic, basic requirement. I would I would change that if I had the magic wand and just make it equal because come on, it's like 2024 now. There's no need for disparity in that, so yeah, anyway.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

Beautiful. Vicky, I'm working on all things trying to remove egos, especially from a number of executive teams that I'm supporting. Once that ego has dropped, the connections between the teams are so beautiful, the conversations are something else. And Vicky, you love this. I talk about three things when we're working, when I'm especially working with teams where I'm trying to change, where I'm trying to shift things, we can focus on the me absolutely through parts of the session. We'll focus on you as an individual. We, us as a team, and then the final us me, we, and us. And then the us is our organization. Who are we for internally and then out there service focus again? So, Vicki, thank you so so much for today. I cannot thank you enough. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Such a fun conversation. Thank you, and um, good luck with the podcast. You're doing an amazing job, and it's very inspiring. So um, you keep shining, Rina. Keep shining and inspiring.

SPEAKER_00 46:00

Inspiring of us. Thank you. How good was that episode? If you liked it, be sure to share it with a couple of other people. Also, in the show notes are details about my newsletter. Keep in touch. I send a newsletter out around once a month. It won't be spammy, it will be very practical. And if we're not connected on LinkedIn yet, we must be connect with me on LinkedIn. And on Instagram, I am prina.sha. I will see you somewhere else or in the next episode. Until then, goodbye.