133. The Risks of Family-Like Work Cultures with Prina Shah

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Hello and welcome to this episode of Ways to Change the Workplace with myself Prino Shah. I love what I do. I'm a global leadership coach, a consultant, a trainer, a keynote speaker, a podcaster. I help you to develop your leaders, your teams, and I help you to optimize your organizational cultures. I'm here to help you find ways to change your workplace. Why? Because we spend more time in our waking day at work than we do with our loved ones. It has to be a good place to be. So in this podcast, you can expect a mix of interviews with amazing thought leaders and then some solo episodes from myself as well.

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Hello, hello, and welcome to this solo episode of the Ways to Change Your Workplace podcast with your host, me, Priena Shah. And I apologize, I've I am feeling a little bit croaky today, so you might get a little bit of coughing and spluttering, and my heating is on in the background. So if you do hear anything, that's what it is. Today I want to speak to you about why your organization shouldn't act like a family. I don't know what to title this episode, but I'll work it out at the end. The reason I am doing this episode though is because when I first started my business around four years ago, I was working with a CEO in helping him to change his organizational culture. It was a beautiful not-for-profit that I worked with. They were quite small and they had huge plans to expand. And this CEO stated to me very proudly that my organizational culture is like a family culture. I heard red flags internally, like alarm bells going off in my head. I thought, oh yeah, cool, listen to him. And then he continued saying that as the organization grows, as the organization's services start to expand, he wants to maintain the family-like culture. And when I interjected and I disagreed with him, it didn't go down well. And long story short, I was taken off the project, which is completely fine with me because I want to work with organizations who are aligned to my kind of thinking. So what is my kind of thinking? Let's go back. Why your organization shouldn't act like a family is what I want to talk to you about. Many companies like to promote a family-like culture, but this metaphor can be really problematic. So I want to explore this today in this episode. Because promoting a family-like culture can be very misleading. Let's start with the fallacy of familial comparison. So comparing a company to a family oversimplifies the complex relationships and power dynamics within organizations. Families are driven by emotional bonds, unconditional love, unconditional support. Whereas companies operate within a framework of hierarchies, of roles, and of performance expectations. And let's be honest, clear conditions, whether it be your contract, your performance metrics, or your output of some sort, right? So there's a big delineation there, first off. An organization is very different to a family. It's very unlikely. Okay. So viewing colleagues as family members can blur our professional boundaries, which leads to conflicts between personal relationships and organizational objectives. And my gosh, this is just uh reminded me of many a moment that I managed when I used to manage uh HR teams, and when I was working in generalist HR especially, the people cases that I had to manage in the form of grievances or performance issues often came down to a fact that you and I were once friends, manager and employee, or bonded like a family, and now the manager needs to have a word with the employee in terms of you need to lift your game, you need to improve your performance, whatever it might be. And the employee responds in a WTF manner, right? So there's lots of examples I can tell you, but let's carry on. You know, I know the viewing colleagues as family members can really blur professional boundaries. So let's delve into the reasons why your organization is not like a family. Organizational structure and role specialization. Organizations are structured around clear roles and responsibilities based on expertise, on experience, and your role specialization. And this contrasts with family roles, which are fluid and not necessarily based on specific competencies at all. You don't need to be trained to be a daughter, you just are. Role clarity is crucial for teamwork and collaboration, reducing ambiguity and enhancing effectiveness. Whereas you don't really need role clarity in your role of whatever you are at home in your family. The second point I want to talk to you about is conflict resolution and emotional intelligence. So, promoting a family-like culture can create challenges when it comes to conflict resolution and emotional regulation, like the example that I just gave you. Now, emotional intelligence plays a critical role in navigating complex social interactions and managing conflicts effectively at work. So cultivating emotional awareness and empathy helps employees to negotiate conflicts constructively while maintaining professional relationships. So I want to I don't know, I want to remind you of a potential conflict that may have happened in your workplace and how that went about and how that was managed. Okay, so think about that example in your own head. Now think about a conflict that has happened within your family environment, let's say your immediate family environment, and how that played out and what came out of that. They're completely different situations, right? You deal with them and you respond to them differently as well. So there you go. I also want to talk to you about the professional versus familial relationship paradigm. So professional relationships are essential within organizations. While familial metaphors may evoke unity and loyalty, they obscure power dynamics, performance expectations, and individual autonomy. Professional relationships grounded in mutual respect and clear communication are key to navigating organizational complexities. We need boundaries. Hello. And one CEO that I have worked extensively with reminded me of a really good line that yes, absolutely, I will be friendly with you at work, but we may not be friends. So talking to boundaries there again. Okay, companies align goals and objectives across departments and teams, often tying them to a strategic plan. So unlike families, where roles and objectives are more fluid, companies rely on performance metrics to evaluate each employee's contribution to these goals. Think about yourself if you are a son, daughter, whatever you are in your family relationship. Do you have performance metrics to meet your needs, you know, off your role? Are you evaluated every year, every quarter to meet those contributions to your family goals? No. So that's another reason why a family is very different to an organizational culture. Okay, and in a company, employers are hired for specific role-based roles based on their expertise. This specialization ensures that each aspect of the company's operation is handled by skilled individuals. Family roles, on the other hand, are less defined and not based on their specific competencies, as I've mentioned. At work, employees must be accountable for their performance to maintain productivity and quality. Unlike family settings, where emotional bonds can influence decision making, companies must base their decisions on data and facts, ensuring objectivity. Hello. So let me get on my high horse. The impact of a family mindset is huge within an organization because encouraging a family mindset at work can and often does introduce emotional bias. It compromises professional boundaries, and it often, unfortunately, when things go wrong, leads to a toxic work culture, which is really difficult to repair. And trust me, I have been there and done that. If you have come across this yourself as well, then please get in touch with me. Uh, contact me on LinkedIn, contact me on Instagram, all of my details are in the show notes. I want to hear from you. Do you agree with me? Do you disagree with me? You tell me. So, going back to the family mindset at a workplace, having a family mindset at work can foster exclusion, it can really create cliques and pressure employees to conform. It may also stifle individuality and innovation. Feedback and conflict resolution becomes even more challenging and it inhibits personal development and growth of individuals. So instead, let me remind you of the importance of maintaining professional relationships, okay, and the delineation between a family organizational culture and a professional organizational culture. So we need to have a foundation of mutual respect. Professional relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and collaboration. They allow employees to work toward towards common goals without the emotional baggage associated with familial bonds. Who on earth wants emotional baggage at work like they do at home? I'm laughing, but you get it, you know. Encouraging clear communication. So professional relationships foster clear communication, which is vital for effective teamwork and problem solving. Employees can address issues openly, finding solutions without fear of personal repercussions. So that's why we need to have professional relationships at work. Let's go back to conflict resolution. So in a professional setting, conflicts are addressed to find productive solutions. This approach ensures issues are resolved based on merit rather than on personal feelings, right? And often in a family, a lot is based on personal feelings. We don't want that at work. We also have to support diversity and inclusion and all of the good stuff at work. Professional relationships appreciate the diverse backgrounds and perspectives, and it drives bigger thinking and creativity within the company. We need to promote professional growth as well. So maintaining professional boundaries encourages career development and advancement based on your performance and your skills. So let me conclude, let me finish up here. A company is not a family. Let me repeat that again. A company or your organization is not a family. It is a business with a clear structure, with defined roles, and a focus on achieving business goals. While positive relationships among employees are essential, viewing colleagues as family members can have negative consequences. Encouraging professional relationships, on the other hand, allows for effective communication, decision making, conflict resolution, all of which lead to a more successful and productive work environment. So, if I leave you with anything today, let me leave you with this in saying that our company is not a family. I wish you well and I will see you in the next episode. Let me know how you fared with this one and what you reckon. Get in touch with me. I can't wait to hear from you. How good was that episode? If you liked it, be sure to share it with a couple of other people. Also, in the show notes are details about my newsletter. Keep in touch. I send a newsletter out around once a month. It won't be spammy, it will be very practical. And if we're not connected on LinkedIn yet, we must be connecting with me on LinkedIn. And on Instagram, I am prina.sha. I will see you somewhere else or in the next episode. Until then, goodbye.