95. On Overcoming Fear with Prina Shah

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Hello and welcome to this episode of Ways to Change the Workplace with myself Prina Shah. I love what I do. I'm a global leadership coach, a consultant, a trainer, a keynote speaker, a podcaster. I help you to develop your leaders, your teams, and I help you to optimize your organizational cultures. I'm here to help you find ways to change your workplace. Why? Because we spend more time in our waking day at work than we do with our loved ones. It has to be a good place to be. So in this podcast, you can expect a mix of interviews with amazing thought leaders and then some solo episodes from myself as well. Get ready. Every single person has faced fear sometime in their life. I'm going to be generic first off and talk to you about fear from a generic perspective in terms of various definitions of fear. Then I'm going to talk to you about how it is portrayed in the workplace and how debilitating it can be. Then I'm going to leave you on a really big high with a solution to addressing your fear because there's a lot that I've been working on on myself as well. And I've got a free tool for you. So you're welcome. Let's get into it. So fear. The sociological definition. I studied a degree in sociology and social psychology. So I'm going to start with the sociological aspect first. So the sociologists' definition of fear. Sociologists describe fear as an emotion that can influence individual and collective behaviors within a society. It is often studied in the context of social interactions. So think of yourself and having fear when you go to networking events. It is studied in the context of institutions. So here I'm going to talk to you about work as an institution and how fear can really be debilitating for you. And fear is also studied in the context of cultural norms. And here, I guess, the sociologists are talking about cultural norms in terms of I don't know, it could be gender differences, it could be linked to family and domestic violence within different um demographics and different cultural backgrounds as well. So it could be anything. But let's get back to fear. Oh my god, doom is what I read there. Now I want to dig deeper for you, and I've been digging deeper for myself as well. So why the fuck not share? Um, I am expanding my vocabulary on all things feelings and emotions. So if you haven't checked it out, the Gottman Institute, I'll link to it in the show notes, has an amazing feelings wheel. And in the feelings wheel, there's a purple quadrant called scared, and that's your base feeling. So the base feeling uh on this quadrant on this feelings wheel of the Gottman Institute is scared, and then it expands our vocabulary. So underneath scared, it could be because one is rejected, confused, helpless, submissive, insecure, or anxious. And then we can expand it even further to expand our vocabulary against the feelings will, and there are words such as bewildered, discouraged, insignificant, weak, foolish, and embarrassed. So these are many, many, many definitions of fear for you. What is fear for you? I guess it depends on the context and the situation, but when you do fear something, I highly recommend that you look at it from the feelings wheel perspective to really delve deep into what that feeling of fear truly is. Now, here's why fear can be debilitating. Stress responses. Fear triggers the body's stress response, releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. This physiological reaction can lead to an increased heart rate, rapid breathing and muscle tension. Over time, chronic fear can contribute to health issues such as high blood pressure, cardiovascular problems, and weakened immune systems. We know all about this. So in terms of the stress response, you've probably heard about the fight, flight, and now fawn responses. So these are your stress response in stress responses in relation to fear. So the other reason that fear can be debilitating is because it results in cognitive impairment. Intense fear can impair cognitive functions such as decision making, problem solving, and memory. This can make it difficult for people to think clearly and rationally, which can hinder their ability to navigate challenges effectively. You're just fuzzy headed when you're fearful, and I've experienced that, no doubt you have too. Another debilitating result of fear for some people is avoidance behaviour. Fear often leads to avoidance behaviour where individuals go to great lengths to avoid situations or triggers that evoke fear. This can limit personal and professional growth by preventing individuals from confronting challenges or taking necessary risks. So fear can be a real gatekeeper. I guess it can stop you from doing the shit that you really want to get done. The other debilitating aspect about fear is that it can create negative thought patterns. Fear can give rise to negative thought patterns such as catastrophizing, and that's imagining the worst-case scenarios. Overgeneralization, applying a single negative experience to all situations, and it can create self-doubt. These thought patterns can erode self-confidence and self-esteem. Another debilitating impact of fear on you is the impact on your well-being. Chronic fear can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety disorders and phobias. It can also lead to emotional exhaustion, burnout, and a decreased overall sense of well-being. The other debilitating impact of fear is social isolation. Fear can lead to social withdrawal and social isolation, as individuals might avoid social interactions that trigger their fears. This isolation can further exacerbate feelings of anxiety and loneliness. And the last debilitating aspect I want to talk to you in relation to fear is that it really gets in the fucking way of your goals. It interferes with your goals. So fear can hinder your amazingness. Fear can hinder individuals from pursuing their goals and aspirations. Now think about that for yourself. You may have had an amazing idea to do something, but then you kind of shat yourself. So then you thought, nah, I won't do it anymore. I had an amazing idea recently where I wanted to learn to rap because I really wanted to learn to rap for ages. And I saw an amazing singer recently who is a rapper. And then I had this moment, just a few seconds thinking, no, I can't, I couldn't do it, no, I'll look silly, blah blah blah. All of that went in in my head. So what I decided to do is a day after, I thought, fuck it. And I contacted him to ask if he would teach me how to learn how to rap. This is an ongoing conversation, and I really hope he says yes. So if that's gonna happen, then hey, you might have some rapping on this podcast. But fear interferes with your goals, and I want you to consider how it has impacted you, how fear has really stopped you from being your best version, how has fear stopped you from taking the wonderful challenges that you may have wanted to, but because you got scared, because you felt fearful, or let's look at these um feeling words, because you felt rejected, confused, helpless, submissive, insecure, anxious, bewildered, discouraged, insignificant, weak, foolish, or embarrassed, you decided not to do that thing. What a fucking shame that is. Please do it. So let's talk about the work context now and when someone is fearful at work. So when someone is fearful at work, it can have various effects on their behavior, performance, and overall well-being. Given your role as the wonderful person that you are, understanding the impact of fear in the workplace is crucial. So here is how fear can manifest in a work context. Fear at work can lead to decreased performance. Fear can impair cognitive functions and decision-making abilities, leading to decreased performance. Individuals may struggle to concentrate, make effective decisions, or to complete tasks efficiently. Fear at work can also lead to avoidance behavior. Fearful individuals might avoid tasks, projects or interactions that trigger their fears. This can lead to procrastination, missed opportunities, and reduced productivity. Fear at work can also result in communication challenges, and oh my gosh, I have seen this repeatedly in the work that I do. Fear can hinder effective communication. Individuals might hesitate to voice their opinions, ask questions or share ideas, fearing negative consequences or judgment. Fear at work definitely reduces creativity and innovation. Fear can stifle creativity and innovation. Employees might be reluctant to propose new ideas or solutions if they fear criticism or failure. Hello, innovation cultures, I think, are the most bullshit cultures around because of the fact that your systems do not enable creativity and taking risks, and therefore, if your systems don't allow it, people are fearful. Fear at work can also lead to increased stress. So fear triggers the body's stress response, as I've already talked to, leading to increased stress levels. Now, I've already said this, but I'm gonna say it again. Prolonged stress can lead to burnout, decreased job satisfaction, and negative impacts on your physical and on your mental health. Fear at work causes conflict and tension. Fearful individuals might perceive threats where none exist, leading to increased interpersonal conflict and tension within teams, misunderstandings and strained relationships can arise due to fear-driven reactions. Fear at work has an awful impact on leadership. Leaders who operate from a place of fear might exhibit controlling behaviors, micromanagement, and an unwillingness to delegate. This completely erodes trust and morale within your team. Now I talk at length about professional brand, and your professional brand is so so important. As soon as you get a dirty mark on your professional brand, it is so difficult to you know wipe that stain off. As I say, a little bit uncouth, but shit sticks, and shit definitely sticks to your professional brand. So think about that. Fear at work also has retention challenges. Employees experiencing chronic fear at work might consider leaving the organization in search of a better and more supportive, positive work environment. And fear in relation to workplace culture can contribute to a completely toxic workplace culture where open communication, collaboration and trust are lacking. This is going to negatively impact on your employee engagement and your overall company performance. Fear at work can also be seen in physical symptoms. Fear can manifest in symptoms such as tension, headaches, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances, which can further employ which can further impact your well-being and productivity. So think about this. I bet you have had a sleepless night or two thanks to work, or no thanks to work, should I say. Now, what can be done about it? I have had many a moment of fear being my own boss and gosh, starting this podcast long ago now. I'm in the flow of it, but my next big thing is to write a book, and you know, I have had moments of fuck. So what to do about that? I've been doing lots of research, and have you heard about Joseph Campbell? Joseph Campbell was an American mythologist. What a cool title! A mythologist. He was also a writer and a lecturer, and he's best known for his work in the field of comparative mythology and his concept of the hero's journey. So, what Joseph Campbell did is he studied mythology and stories across the world, across cultures, and what he has done is he's got a formula, and it is friggin' brilliant. And I'm gonna talk to you about it, and I've got a freebie for you as well if you want to really work on yourself to address your fear. So, what he did was he distilled all of the biggest lessons of all of the cultures and mythology and whatnot that he studied into a formula, which I'm gonna talk to you about. Joseph Campbell's influential work has had a significant impact on various fields, including literature, psychology, philosophy, and storytelling. So, given our interest in changing workplace dynamics and addressing fear, Campbell's ideas are very seminal in providing insights into overcoming fear. So here's how his work and his various stages can be valuable. What Joseph Campbell has is the hero's journey model. Don't you love that? The hero's journey model. The hero is you, because you are a fucking hero. So Campbell's most well-known contribution is the concept of the hero's journey. It is a narrative pattern found in myths and stories across cultures. This model outlines a hero's transformative journey from a place of ordinary life to facing challenges, overcoming obstacles, and returning with a newfound wisdom. The journey mirrors the process of overcoming fear, acknowledging fear, confronting it, and transforming as a result. There are archetypal elements within Joseph Campbell's myths, such as the call to adventure, crossing the threshold, trials and tests and return with the elixir. So if you think about it, when you do shit yourself, it's because you might want to do something different. So that's your call to adventure, and then therefore you need to cross that threshold, whatever that next step is. And you know, after that next step, you're gonna have trials and tests. But at the end of it, and you've been through stuff before, you get the goods, you get the elixir. So these stages can be applied to real life situations, including addressing workplace fears. By recognizing these elements, you can understand that your fear is a part of universal pattern of growth for every single person in the majority of cultures. There's a personal transformation element in Joseph Campbell's work which emphasizes the idea that facing your fears leads to personal transformation and growth. Ain't that the truth? This perspective encourages individuals to view fear not only as an obstacle to avoid but as an opportunity for self-discovery and positive change. When I started to learn about Joseph Campbell's work years ago, I thought, yeah, okay, this is the one for me because it is an opportunity for self-discovery and positive change. Now, Joseph Campbell used myth as a mirror. So Campbell believed that myths reflect the human experience and serve as mirrors for our own journeys. In the context of addressing fear in the workplace, individuals can draw parallels between mythic narratives and your own struggles, finding inspiration and guidance in how heroes overcome their fears. And the last thing I want to talk to you about is empowerment. Joseph Campbell's work empowers individuals to embrace their fears as an integral part of their journey. We're all gonna have this. By reframing fear as a stepping stone to growth, individuals can approach workplace challenges with greater resilience, courage, and a sense of purpose. Now, if we're talking about mythology and philosophy and all of that, think about it. The Buddhist culture talks about pain as being inevitable in life, and if pain is inevitable, there's a shitty aspect of pain that goes with it, which is also fear. So if fear is a normal part of life and we accept that it's a normal part of life, we also accept that we can get over it. How can we get over it? So I'm gonna summarize briefly. You have to download the workbook that I've got attached in the show notes because that will really explain everything to you. So there's five ways on how you can overcome fear using my hero's journey model that I've created for you that you might find valuable at work. So, first off, you shoot yourself, you've got this fear, this horrible thing that's happening, and you know, sometimes people feel it in their stomach, sometimes you feel it in your heart, sometimes you feel it on your in your throat. Where do you feel it? But acknowledge that fear, and that is your call to adventure because it's like, hello, something is scaring me here, or something is making me fearful. What is it? This is your call to adventure if you reframe it that way. So I highly recommend that we encourage people to recognize and acknowledge their fears rather than to suppress them, to guide them to identify the specific fear and its underlying causes within the context of your workplace challenges. That's what this guide is going to do for you. And then the second aspect, after you've had your call to adventure, there's something that you want to change or something that you want to work on. Part number two is that you meet your mentor, you seek support and guidance. And in this stage, we emphasize the importance of seeking support from mentors, colleagues, or coaches who can provide guidance and a different perspective. It's going beyond your echo chamber. It's assisting individuals in finding constructive ways to share their fears and concerns with trusted individuals. So meeting your mentor is that second stage. The third stage is called crossing the threshold, taking action. This is where in the workbook you are encouraged to step out of your comfort zone safely and take actionable steps to address your fears to help you to set achievable goals that gradually expose you to the source of your fear, and that allows for your incremental progress. Now, it's not going to be easy, it's not all hunky-dory. There will be trials and tests. So that's stage four. Trials and tests, which are going to be building your resilience. So in the workbook, I teach strategies to build emotional resilience and coping skills such as mindfulness. You could go into deep breathing, positive self-talk, you do what you want to. But I've got some ideas in the uh workbook for you. And this gives you, through challenging situations, uh ways to confront your fears and navigate them. So, how to address your trials and tests and how to build your resilience. And then you return with the elixir, you return with the goods, and that's your growth and transformation as the last stage, highlighting the potential for your personal or professional growth that comes from facing and overcoming your fears. It helps you to reflect on your journey, identifying lessons learned, and recognizing the positive changes that you've experienced. So by this stage, ideally, you will be out of the funk, out of the funky stage of fear. And you are likely listening to this episode because you want to kick fear in the nuts. I hear you, so let me help. So if you are ready to embark on your hero's journey of transformation to conquer your fears and embrace change and unlock your full potential, you have to discover the transformative power of the hero's journey with your free workbook, which is linked in the show notes. You want to unveil your inner hero, dive into the time-tested hero's journey framework used by legends and leaders throughout history. Learn how to apply stages to your own life, empowering you to face challenges head on. I want you to conquer your workplace fears, and in the work that I do, I understand the impact of fear on company culture. This guide equips you with insights to help if you're a leader, if you're working within the team perspective, or if you're an individual to overcome fear, fostering a fearless and thriving workplace environment. Ideally, I want you to get to the stage where you have your elixir of change. I mean, this podcast is called Ways to Change Your Workplace After All, and I want you to unearth the hidden treasures within your fears. Yes, hidden treasures within your fears. You know it in the past, when you have had moments of fear and you've looked back in hindsight, you have had many lessons. So this guide is gonna illuminate the path to your personal growth and your professional success, and it's gonna guide you towards a more confident and resilient version of you. And guaranteed, you are gonna have such open and insightful insights into yourself that this guide isn't gonna be just a theory, it's gonna be a practical roadmap. It's practiced with actionable steps and using uh Campbell's heroes journey with real-world examples. It is your companion for embarking on your very own hero's journey. So download it now, test it, try it, check it out, give me feedback. How did you go? Let me know, and I wish you the best, always. And I'll see you in the next episode. And I hope you get to kick fear in the nuts. Sign up to my newsletter, which is detailed in the show notes if you stand against crappy cultures, lousy leaders, and toxic teams. And I'll see you in the next episode,